Many Thanks

Dear New Cat,

Thank you for not making us buy billion dollar, hypoallergenic, organic duck and pea cat food from the vet. We really appreciate your willingness to eat Purina, which we get coupons for.

While we're on the subject of thanks we also appreciate your managing to keep your nasty cat boogers in your nose instead of spraying them all over everything from the doorknobs down.

Our only requests would be that, one: you find some time to work on poop-burying a little bit as we would greatly appreciate it and, two: you quit jumping on the dresser to bat change onto the floor each morning at approximately 5am.

For the time being your position is secure and we look forward to our next evaluation in approximately 6 months at which time your ability to adjust to a new monster in the house will be discussed.

Sincerely,

The Management